The Republic of Awesome

Goddamn I have but two days of examinations left.

Not that you’d think I gave a shit if you observe my study habits.

I employ a JIT (Just In Time) studying system where I keep zero inventory of examinable knowledge until it is required. The advantage of a JIT system is that it prevents wastage from inventory costs and ensures a lean production system with as little inefficiencies as possible.

To y’all non-business laymen, a JIT studying  system essentially means chionging like your arse is getting flamethrowered  to finish studying the night before the examination

Massive inventories incur huge costs to maintain.

However, preparation is only half of the equation. The other half is how fast you can finish the questions.

If you can somehow find enough time to finish everything and chill, you’ve either missed out a question or you’re on crystal meth. Either way you’re fucked for the paper.

I find that the pace at which I do my papers heavily depends on the music I listen to before the examination.

Yes I’m like the motherfucking PATAPON’s who march to the beat of the Godlike drums.

I love PrataPorn.

This was proven when I had the cow-sense to listen to classical music prior to entering the examination hall.

To be specific, it was Samuel Barber’s Adagio for Strings. There’s probably few songs as slow and soothing as Barber’s composition - it’s the stuff they play at funerals or at tributes for dead  folks. Goddamn.

It’s a wonder I even finished half the paper on time.

Beethoven: Classical music pwns n00bs!

What does help for examinations is not something intelligent like classical music.

No, you need something trashier than a landfill. Something with an upbeat tempo and a strong beat. Something that makes you shake your arse in your seat as you attempt to elucidate on monopoly pricing.

Essentially, anything they play at clubs would do.

Personally I like Lady Gaga.

Why?

Because she likes it rough