The Republic of Awesome

Old man’s bottle mishap leads to his death

Wahliao weyh. This one I really not talking cock…

A 77 year old man died after he tried masturbating with a soft drinks bottle.

When he got to the hospital, the doctors managed to cut the bottle off. However, the skin around his penis was damaged by the ordeal and he was unable  to urinate. He later developed other complications which lead to his death.

ROFL!

First of all, how did he even fit his dick into the bottle?!

Not that I’ve actually tried, but the opening of your standard Coke bottle is way, way, way too small for any guy who is endowed with a normal sized package to fit into.

Ok wait nevermind. A quick Google search returned some rather… unsettling images…

DEFINITELY NSFW. DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU’RE COOL WITH MATURE CONTENT.

Am done. Imma dunk my head in a toilet for awhile to clear the images from my head.