The Republic of Awesome

That’s the largest hot steaming load of marketing bullshit I’ve ever seen.

What the fuck is a ‘multi-sensory extravaganza’?

I’ll tell you exactly what it is.

When I step on a fresh warm dog turd, it’s a ‘multi-sensory extravaganza’.

First I feel the soft organic matter squeeze between my toes. The warmth and exquisite texture engage the tactile senses. This is followed an immediate release of the odours trapped within the turd. These permeate my nasal cavity and stimulate the olfactory receptors. Moving along, the instinct is to examine the mess I’ve stepped into, and I’m treated to the sight of brown feces coating the sole of my foot.

Holy humping cows, Batman! I’ve simultaneously engaged the sense of touch, smell and sight! By dictionary definition, that’s a multi-sensory extravaganza right there!

Making something sound exciting by inserting impressive sounding words. Goddamn. How is this unlike advertising a used car as a ’self-propelled wonder carriage’? Or toilet paper as ‘amazing derriere clensing wood pulp’?