The Republic of Awesome

Have you ever observed screaming fans?

They’re completely wild, driven by an insane need to holler at their object of affection.

If you didn’t know they were screaming fans, you’d think you just walked into the world’s largest amputation-without-anesthetic center from the disconcerting screams.

What exactly creates the Screaming Fans Effect?

What can drive a fully grown person to act uncontrollably; their eyes bulging out of their skulls as they shout their lungs out and attempt to claw at their Idol?

A theory forwarded by seduction literature is that the mere sight of the Idol creates an instantaneous spike in the fans’ attraction levels.

This is not unlike an uber-hot lady stripping in the middle of the street causing accidents.

Sauce: Failblog.org

The spike in attraction levels releases a sudden surge of chemicals in the brain, which immediately fries all available logic circuitry in the fans’ brains. Devoid of logic circuitry, the fans go into Rampage Mode and go all out psycho on the Idol.

Perhaps another theory is that the social dynamic at a event with other screaming fans permits behaviour that deviates from the norm.

As much as we like to consider ourselves as ‘individuals’, group-think is a mentality that we often fall victim to. The fervor of other fans screaming and acting uncivil-like would lend social proof to our own actions in a similar vein.

In other words, if everyone’s going all crazy, it’s socially permissible for ourselves to act similarly.

Crazy fans remind me of Left 4 Dead zombies.

The Screaming Fans Effect explains why stars can get laid like eggs on a chicken farm. A combination of attraction spikes and the social dynamic of a star-fan relationship allow for normally non-permissible behaviours to become acceptable.

What’s the moral of this story?

To get more ass than a butt doctor, go become fabulously famous.

Yes, it’s nothing you didn’t already know.