The Republic of Awesome

Ok so I haven’t been posting for a little more than a week.

I just got home this week and I’ve been enjoying some quiet family time, is all.

Pictured: Quiet family time.

Since it’s Christ’s birthday today, Imma get a lil religious on your ass.

(Even though I’m a non-believing-going-to-Hell atheist. Can you say ‘lol’?)

Anyway to the point: Jesus is awesome.

Not because he can turn water into wine, although that pretty much guarantees his popularity at just about any party in the world.

Buddha on the other hand makes a mean whiskey.

Not because he makes the blind see, or the lame walk, or walks on water. Even though that last one is a pretty nifty trick.

Then again, so can Naruto and his pals…

But because he selflessly died on the cross to absolve mankind of all its sins.

Think about that a second. Think about what it all means.

He died so us imperfect humans, who are so naturally inclined to sin, can go up there and chill out with our Maker when it’s all over.

He gave his life and died a rather excruciating death for no other reason than because he cared about the poor misguided humans, who did nothing but beat the crap out of him and nail him to a giant plank of wood.

Thanks a lot, humans.

He did all that so you can mercilessly jerk it to weird-ass hentai all night long and still enter the Kingdom of Heaven. So think about that next time you go porno surfing.

Seriously.

However if you’re still unconvinced that Jesus is awesome, then see him beat the warm liquid faeces out of several Greek mythical figures:

Click to fullview.

I’ll sum it up in 3 words: Pure unadulterated awesome.