The Republic of Awesome

I stumbled upon a 1938 Guide to Dating for Women. [Link here]

This was written back in the day when women were chained to the kitchen stovepipe and did all the sandwich-making a man could conceivably want.

What’s interesting is noting how different things were 70 years ago.

For example, I had to look up what the heck a girdle is (it’s like granny panties).

Also the very tone of the article seems to suggest that a woman had to work hard to get a man to like her and not fuck up on dates.

This made pretty good sense since the general game plan for ladies back then was to graduate from high school, get married, have kids and slave away in the kitchen.

Getting a job, striking it out on your own and basically not needing a man around wasn’t in the mainstream. Add to that the fact there were very real and very sexist barriers to gaining employment, especially after the Great Depression which meant a lack of jobs all around.

Thus, in the 1930’s it was inadvisable to act like a drunken whore on dates.

Fast forwards to the 2010’s and we have…

Kesha, who advocates brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack.

Don’t you just love societal progress?

So this morning I went for the NOC interview round two.

Also known as Super Hantam Interview Time (S.H.I.T).

Because, as the name implies, you will kena hantam nicely. The interviewers will find your weakest point and grill you about it until you crack and crawl out of the interview room like a puddle of expired vodka jell-o.

Unless you’re as awesome as me and you just outright refuse to.

You outright refuse to because you have suited up, and when suited up, you are so awesome nothing can possibly faze you. Not even the end of the freakin’ world because you’d just haul your ass on the meteor hurtling towards Earth and surf it like a cowabunga board.

Being suited up grants player +5 Invincibility.

No you turn around and talk about Steve Jobs. Even though you don’t own a single goddamn piece of Apple equipment. But that doesn’t matter because you’ve read Job’s biography like a dozen times.

Read it because you realise that there’s a lot of Steve Jobs in you. The early Steve Jobs that is, and the parts that made him a bit of a jerk. That tenacity, that unbridled need to have things your way, that fickleness and perfectionistic torture you put your employees through.

Maybe, just maybe, it means you have it in you somewhere to become an entrepreneur.

And maybe you will. Only to get your ass fired from the very company you founded because you are such a supermassive asshole.

I relate to the 30-years-ago version of this dude.

Maybe, But we will have to see.

If I managed to make the cut, I’m sending a Thank You note to Mr. Jobs.

It’s the least I can do for showing me that yes, the stubborn, tenacious, visionary of a man can ultimately make a dent in the universe.

One night out.

100% opened, hooked and connected.

Guess who’s back in the game?

For more elucidation; or maybe not - follow me on motherfucking twitter.

Yes I finally succumbed to peer pressure and got the motherfucking lamest blogging shit since Facebook statuses (which are awesome for bitching about people like … *ahem* you know who you are)

TWEETER

Looks like Apple is releasing a touch pad PC. Think a iPhone but enlarged and capable of doing more notebook-esque stuff.

I foresee a massive tidal wave of jizz from Apple fanboys around the planet instantaneously having a product release of their own.

Jobs – making people jizz their pants since 1975.

Here’s what may be the real deal, or a faked video:

My question though: How is one going to type long word documents on the thing?

Via the on-screen touchpad?

Or are the bourgeois Apple users too cool for proletariat work like that?

I think it’ll be pretty awesome to play with a tablet like that, but probably rubbish to do work with it. And I mean REAL work as you don’t just fiddle around with a few photos or videos.

As is always the case with Mac vs PC…

Oh and here’s a MadTV take on the whole thing:

Ok so awhile back, a bunch of churches were firebombed in Malaysia over the usage of the word ‘Allah’ in a Christian Malay language publication.

Now it seems a couple of Muslim prayer rooms were burned in return.

Goddamn, shit is really going to hit the fan this time.

I really think all parties should just chill out – both the Christians and the Muslims.

Christians wanna use the word Allah?

Let them. That word predates your religion, other Muslim countries are doing it without any problems, and the excuse of Muslims being led astray is lamer than the Special Olympics.

If anything, Christians seeing the word ‘Allah’ in their Bibles might just seek out the original recipe Allah and convert to Islam.

Muslims wanna keep Allah to themselves?

Let them. That word is special to them. Add to that you’re in a Muslim country; you’re really fucking with a hornet’s nest here.

Just invent another word for God for your Malay Bibles. It’s not like the Bible is usually read in the original language anyway.

In fact, the original recipe Bible came in two languages – the Old Testament was in Hebrew and the New Testament in Greek. That’s kinda like having the first Matrix movie in English and then the sequels in classical Latin.

Which would’ve fucking saved the franchise, but do nothing for Keanu Reeve’s acting.

But seriously, what’s with all this fighting over a word to represent the Almighty? It’s not even His name, for Heaven’s sake.

After all, we know that God is really…

Morgan Freeman!