The Republic of Awesome

An annoying thing about innit is that everyone is just so nang crazy that they’d spam the Chatbox hoping to make it into the top 10 box.

A pretty idiotic prospect, since getting to the top 10 through spam is like winning the Special Olympics – yes you’re a champ, but ultimately your blog is still retarded.

No offense so Special Olympics athletes. My heart goes out to them.

Thus transpired the events of this afternoon, which shall forever be known as the Dang Intervention.

It started innocently enough, with a warning to dang whoever spammed.

Nonetheless, it didn’t take long for shit to hit the fan.

Chats are read from bottom up.

Right after I issued my warning someone JUST had to test my mettle.

Unfortunately for that person, I’m a man of my word.

Danged!

But somehow, the just NEVER SEEM TO LEARN!

Pictured: People with learning disability.

Victims of learning disability

Truth to be told, I do read stuff on innit. However the problem is that 83% of the posts on innit are just pure unadulterated rubbish.

They are either:

• a) Boring
• b) Uninsightful
• c) Poorly written
• d) Plagiarised from other sites
• e) All of the above

My advice to you?

Consistently churn out quality, original works that you can proudly read over and over again. No, not on how your day went (unless this involves a lot of sex or violence), but on something people would find interesting and would love to read.

Pictured: Sex and violence

Personally, I read blogs that are funny or intelligent or both.

Funny as in I laugh my arse off between each paragraph. Intelligent in that it makes me think, without the author sounding like a pretentious fuckwad.

Google image result for ‘pretentious’.

Guest quote from AngelKein which just about sums it up:

“People think getting nangs will help improve their traffic, yes it does, but just a small pile of poo. You want get more visitors, write nicer posts that will attract people’s attention. And with clean simple layout and normal read-able fonts. Oh yeah. With read-able English also. How do you expect your traffic to increase if people can’t even read nor understand your posts.”

~~

Aside: Let’s make this an innit Chatbox policy! People who spam get 1 chance. The moment they spam again, BOOYAKASHA we DANG them! If you support this, spread this message to all and sundry!

Final aside: No insult meant for people who are actually retarded (as in mentally challenged like, for real) or with learning disabilities. Dyslexia is not as fun as TV make it out to be =(

I love the Google search suggestions. They reveal much about what people are searching for.

In Malaysia, people are concerned about…

…the Jews being smarter than them. Mm mm Anti-Semitism goodness.

Another interesting thing Malaysians searched for is ‘why English is important’. Understandable considering the deplorable state of the Queen’s language in Malaysia. (Case in point: ‘why the jews so smart’ is grammatically incorrect, yet it is a prominent search string)

I got an idea for you. Learn proper English you dingbat! It’s not called the ‘international language of knowledge’ for nothing. Then you’d be way smarter than the Jews for sure.

Over in Singapore, the topic du jour is…

…smelly Indians. Fucking racists. I think we Chinese people are probably the most racist in the world. If Chinese characters had Roman alphabets they’d start the KKK or some shit.

Speaking of racism, a search on ‘chinese racists’ brought to my attention the plight of Lou Jing. Miss Lou is a girl in China born of a Chinese mother… who had an extra-marital affair with a black man.

It seems Chinese people have an inherent dislike for people of darker skin than them (or a massive fear of 8 inch Nigger dong), for netizens in China basically blasted the poor girl when she appeared on a TV show.

Here’s the girl in question:

I dunno about you, but damnnn - she’s fine!

Dumbass racists, it doesn’t matter what skin colour a person is. A hot chick is a hot chick, even if she’s got blue skin. (Question: Would you bang Mystique of the X-Men?)

Internationally, people searched about…

…smelly vaginas apparently.

It’s called vaginitis and you can get over the counter treatment at your friendly local pharmacy.

Aside from that, popular search topics were why men have nipples, why their poop is green (ew – too much veggies?), and why did I get married too (I assume they are referring to the movie due in 2010).

So what can you learn from all this?

People in Malaysia are anti-Semitic, people in Singapore are racists, and people around the world have smelly vaginas!

I logged into Facebook this morning to see I had notifications. Including a photo comment, which is something I usually check.

Clicking on it, I realise I have to log into Facebook again.

Like, wtf mate. I just logged in! You can’t do this to me! You always do this to me! ARGH!

Until of course I checked the URL.

It’s a good habit because…

…I was about to give away personal details to Faceboo. Which sounds more like a Halloween prank than a social networking site.

HAHA squids. So delicious.

Please check the URL’s of any site you’re logging into. Otherwise someone’s going to log into your account, steal all your pictures and the next thing you know you’re the poster girl for the Facebook of Sex.

(Actually no, the skanky photos come from MySpace.)

This public service announcement is brought to you by The Republic of Awesome dot com.

Avast, ye’ landlubbers! A matey o’ mine informed me that te’ olde Facebook be available in te’ tougue o’ swashbucklers!

T’switch ye Facebook from te’ tongue o’ landlubbers t’that o’ me mighty pirate mateys, go t’ ye settings adjustment in ye Facebook and be setting ye language to English (Pirate).

You are a pirate!