The Republic of Awesome

Looks like Apple is releasing a touch pad PC. Think a iPhone but enlarged and capable of doing more notebook-esque stuff.

I foresee a massive tidal wave of jizz from Apple fanboys around the planet instantaneously having a product release of their own.

Jobs – making people jizz their pants since 1975.

Here’s what may be the real deal, or a faked video:

My question though: How is one going to type long word documents on the thing?

Via the on-screen touchpad?

Or are the bourgeois Apple users too cool for proletariat work like that?

I think it’ll be pretty awesome to play with a tablet like that, but probably rubbish to do work with it. And I mean REAL work as you don’t just fiddle around with a few photos or videos.

As is always the case with Mac vs PC…

Oh and here’s a MadTV take on the whole thing:

Ok so awhile back, a bunch of churches were firebombed in Malaysia over the usage of the word ‘Allah’ in a Christian Malay language publication.

Now it seems a couple of Muslim prayer rooms were burned in return.

Goddamn, shit is really going to hit the fan this time.

I really think all parties should just chill out – both the Christians and the Muslims.

Christians wanna use the word Allah?

Let them. That word predates your religion, other Muslim countries are doing it without any problems, and the excuse of Muslims being led astray is lamer than the Special Olympics.

If anything, Christians seeing the word ‘Allah’ in their Bibles might just seek out the original recipe Allah and convert to Islam.

Muslims wanna keep Allah to themselves?

Let them. That word is special to them. Add to that you’re in a Muslim country; you’re really fucking with a hornet’s nest here.

Just invent another word for God for your Malay Bibles. It’s not like the Bible is usually read in the original language anyway.

In fact, the original recipe Bible came in two languages – the Old Testament was in Hebrew and the New Testament in Greek. That’s kinda like having the first Matrix movie in English and then the sequels in classical Latin.

Which would’ve fucking saved the franchise, but do nothing for Keanu Reeve’s acting.

But seriously, what’s with all this fighting over a word to represent the Almighty? It’s not even His name, for Heaven’s sake.

After all, we know that God is really…

Morgan Freeman!

Damn I procrastinate way too much.

Apparently though, procrastination is not caused by genetics but rather by upbringing.

According to this article, procrastination is indirectly caused by authoritarian parents. The child never develops self regulatory abilities, as they are always being controlled by the parents. Thus, they never learn to fulfil their intentions by acting on them.

Alternatively, procrastination developed amongst such children as a form of rebellion against controlling parents. While they cannot disobey, but they sure as hell can put off what they’re told to do.

So there you go – next time you catch yourself in front of Facebook instead of doing your work, you can think back on daddy and mommy and freaking blame them.

Don’t you just love psychology?

~~

Alright so now for the $64,000 question:

How do you stop procrastinating??

I don’t know.

I believe if you do something for 21 days it’d stick as a habit and you’d do it the rest of your life.

Yes this is one of those posts where I pledge to do something in hopes that my crowd of readers will threaten to stone me to death if I don’t fulfil my promises.

Which means I’ll try to stop procrastinating for 21 days…

…

…that is starting tomorrow. Or the day after…

…or the day after that…

I made this one. No stealing!

An annoying thing about innit is that everyone is just so nang crazy that they’d spam the Chatbox hoping to make it into the top 10 box.

A pretty idiotic prospect, since getting to the top 10 through spam is like winning the Special Olympics – yes you’re a champ, but ultimately your blog is still retarded.

No offense so Special Olympics athletes. My heart goes out to them.

Thus transpired the events of this afternoon, which shall forever be known as the Dang Intervention.

It started innocently enough, with a warning to dang whoever spammed.

Nonetheless, it didn’t take long for shit to hit the fan.

Chats are read from bottom up.

Right after I issued my warning someone JUST had to test my mettle.

Unfortunately for that person, I’m a man of my word.

Danged!

But somehow, the just NEVER SEEM TO LEARN!

Pictured: People with learning disability.

Victims of learning disability

Truth to be told, I do read stuff on innit. However the problem is that 83% of the posts on innit are just pure unadulterated rubbish.

They are either:

• a) Boring
• b) Uninsightful
• c) Poorly written
• d) Plagiarised from other sites
• e) All of the above

My advice to you?

Consistently churn out quality, original works that you can proudly read over and over again. No, not on how your day went (unless this involves a lot of sex or violence), but on something people would find interesting and would love to read.

Pictured: Sex and violence

Personally, I read blogs that are funny or intelligent or both.

Funny as in I laugh my arse off between each paragraph. Intelligent in that it makes me think, without the author sounding like a pretentious fuckwad.

Google image result for ‘pretentious’.

Guest quote from AngelKein which just about sums it up:

“People think getting nangs will help improve their traffic, yes it does, but just a small pile of poo. You want get more visitors, write nicer posts that will attract people’s attention. And with clean simple layout and normal read-able fonts. Oh yeah. With read-able English also. How do you expect your traffic to increase if people can’t even read nor understand your posts.”

~~

Aside: Let’s make this an innit Chatbox policy! People who spam get 1 chance. The moment they spam again, BOOYAKASHA we DANG them! If you support this, spread this message to all and sundry!

Final aside: No insult meant for people who are actually retarded (as in mentally challenged like, for real) or with learning disabilities. Dyslexia is not as fun as TV make it out to be =(

Today’s newspaper ran an article about how a Japanese whaling ship rammed a speedboat manned by anti-whaling activists, chopping off the front section of the boat.

You can read about it here.

Somehow I have always been intrigued by the exploits of the Sea Shepherds. They sail where evil whaling ships go about killing whales and sabotage their operations. This is done by throwing stink bombs and tangling the whaling ships’ drive systems with ropes.

Hell yeah it sounds like something I’d do even without the noble bit of saving whales!

But seriously just stink bombs?

If I were to lead an environmental activist group which uses ‘extreme’ measures, I’d be a lot more extreme than that!

It’ll be called Al-Greena and we’d do shit like bomb factories spewing toxic chemicals, disable forest clearing machinery with thermite, throw petrol bombs at organisations that do dastardly things to the environment, and other generally destructive measures.

Oh and kidnapping delegates at environmental summits who do not support carbon-reducing protocols. Then we’ll put them in a sealed room and pipe in smoke from burning hydrocarbons before calling the cops and fleeing.

Finally an Al-Greena representative will appear in the media claiming responsibility for the attacks. Gaia-hu-akhbar, motherfuckers!

Anarchy and destruction with a cause that’ll get you laid. Goddamn, call me Tyler Durden and sign me righttt up!