The Republic of Awesome

Holy shit I have 3 mid terms on Monday and Tuesday and I’m ill prepared for them all.

Spare me a prayer if you believe in God, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, Mr. Kong Fuzi, aliens, cats, natural stuffs, a dude with a hammer, or some other random shit.

CHIONG TIMEEE!

I was blog surfing when I saw this video here.

It’s a cover of Britney Spears ‘Womanizer’ by an RnB group called ‘Ahmir’.

This version is SO MUCH BETTER!!!

It makes Britney’s version look like cotton candy dipped in muddy water - unappetizing and much artifical empty calories.

Listen to the lyrics - it’s about being a womanizer and unashamed about it.

In my honest opinion, I think it works out fine. I know girls who date womanizers even though they know his nature. Then they’ll whine about ‘oh mannnn do you think he’s playing me?’

Yes my dear, he probably is.

The trick is to give them a shred of hope that maybe, just MAYBE, she’d be the one who can tie you down and you’d surrender everything to her. Or hopefully they just don’t care that you’re playin’ them.

Would you date a guy who’s a womanizer?

Peter Schiff has got it right.

The problem with the US bailout plan is that it intends to return the US’ economy to the status quo: borrowing money they can’t repay to buy goods they cannot afford.

Tell me how that’s unlike a fat man who almost died of a heart attack taking anti-cholesterol pills just so he can continue pigging out on BigMacs and greasy fries (which are fucking delicious btw).

What he really needs to do is to correct the root of his problem - an unhealthy sedentary lifestyle where caloric consumption is astronomically higher than caloric usage.

In other words, he’s got to get his ass out there and move it move it move it like he’s trying to escape a gang of Kenyan runners cum ass rapists.

“I’m fat and McLovin’ it.”

Similarly, this Schiff chap proposes that the US’s industries move their arses and start producing more. This would get at the root of the US’ economic problem: they consume much more than they produce.

And when they cannot consume anymore, they borrow to continue consumption.

There’s only so long that you can live on borrowed money and get away with it. Pretty soon your lenders are going to come knockin’ and then you’d wish you were being pursued by the Kenyan ass rapists instead.

Which makes me wonder - what would it be like when the Chinese, Japanese and all the Asian money lenders start to knock on Uncle Sam’s door?

Legally, they’d own the Americans’ broke asses.

Ah the future. It consists of white slavery and chinky domination.

Internet marketers slave at search engine optimisation (SEO). They hope that through their efforts, their site will rank favourably on a search engine.

They increase backlinks to their site, they pepper their articles with desirable keywords, make sure headers and titles correspond to aforementioned keywords, etc etc.

Finally, they succeed and get a top-10 ranked site on Google. Or perhaps they don’t.

But I wonder, has anyone successfully optimised their site… accidentally?

Please click to view  full-size.

What the fuck la. Google has me ranked #5 for a search on ‘beastiality youtube’.

I’m only ranked below some random Youtube videos and an actual beastiality site (I think - didn’t bother checking… intercourse with animals is not my thing -___-).

Pornographers from all across the intarwebs will be seeking me out. I’m like, the guru of animal porn internet marketing. They’ll beg me to optimise their sites for them too so Google will rank them highly whenever anyone types some porn-related search string.

Ok wait. I think they already do!

Which explains all the pornographic spam comments I’ve been getting.

RAWRGH. THIS IS NOT A PORN BLOG YO! FUCK OFF LA YOU MORONIC SPAM BOTS!

A husband suspects his wife is cheating on him. Thus, he decides to catch her and publicly humiliate her via a radio show that’s geared towards exposing cheating spouses.

Then his wife turns it around and totally pwns his little bitch ass LOL.